Even wheel clampers hate the Lib Dems, apparently

The worthy members of the Parking Enforcement Trade Association (PETA) have kicked off a campaign to defend their profession and targeted Nick Clegg and his party in the process.

Their UK-wide ad reads, “The Liberal Democrats who have won just 43 out of the 531 seats (8.1%) in the last general election are taking away your rights of the use on your very own property. They are ignoring the civil laws that protect you and your land which date back to the signing of the Magna Carta in 1215, by banning wheel-clamping and towing away on private land. For years in the High Court of Justice our elders have passed judgement on laws such as tort, trespass, the laws of 'Volenti non Fit injuria' and the doctrine known as 'Distress Damage Feasant' casting them aside or simply ignoring them.”

It’s a bit like the Sherriff of Nottingham putting in a harassment claim against Hood & Co but it has to be said, feudal nostalgia aside, that the Protection of Freedoms Bill, which among its many provision aims to make immobilisation of vehicles an offence, is basically a confused hotchpotch of policies thrown up by both coalition partners  and even includes some hangover Labour items bolted on for good measure. Few observers expect more than a third of the clauses to remain intact by its final stages.

Nevertheless, the bunch of licensed robbers Parking Enforcement Community are of the view that it’s the Lib Dems wot are behind this diabolical liberty. More importantly, to their minds anyway, the whole sinister leftie whatsit idea could possibly be “an infringement of landowners’ rights under Article One, Protocol One of the European Human Rights Act, viz. the right to enjoy one's property. The vehicle is deemed chattel and in the land owners’ possession, say PETA, who seem most impressed by this particular insight.

“So basically”, conclude the clampers, “this coalition government and the Protection of Freedom bill is sticking up the proverbial two fingers and forcing on you and me what they want and the Conservatives have to agree as part of the coalition agreement.”

Oh, say it ain’t so.