Back of the envelope for the BNP

Cash-strapped neo-nazi Nick Griffin has complained to the Royal Mail for apparently refusing to re-deliver elections leaflets after a sackful were allegedly discovered dumped in the back garden of one of his candidates.

In an email sent out to supporters, the BNP leader claims that there are “heavy reports of non-delivery of our spectacular leaflets” for the Assembly elections. The upshot is that Griffin is asking his fellow fascist fuckwits to cough up £2,500 for replacement leaflets.

The appeal has received a small barrage of negative responses from a disillusioned membership. One angry individual, who employed numerous expletives for emphasis, pointed out that the requested sum represents a small fraction of what Griffin gets in salary & allowance as an MEP. Another disputed the mail problem entirely and described appeal the “another feckin’ lie” to cover up “wholesale incompetence” by party organisers.

The circumstances are said to be fairly typical of a poorly co-ordinated campaign ineptly run by tattooed slap-heads who spend more time attacking each other than coming up with a half-way coherent platform. Fundraising is a disaster and the number of volunteers has gone down significantly thanks to long-term factional infighting.

Unable to exercise the same degree of charismatic control over a resentful and increasingly unreliable party hierarchy, Griffin is reduced to making direct personal appeals to members. The problem is that his office is using an outdated mailing list. The result is that individuals previously expelled or hounded out of the party are responding to his exhortations with their own very specific proctological advice.

Sounds about right - let's hope they get the same kind of result on 5 May.