Awards

So as another year draws to a close, it’s time to announce the winners of the 2009 Inside Out Awards. As ever, these are made in sincere recognition of the contribution made by the individuals named towards this blogsite:

Devolution Champion of the Year
This year’s award is shared between Martyn Jones Labour MP for Clwyd South and Swansea Lib Dem councillor Peter May (also Swansea West PPC) for their spectacular confusion as to who-actually-does-what in Wales.

Social Networker of the Year
A clear winner is Lib Dem Sean Aspey who wore what the media claimed was a ‘Nazi storm-trooper’ to a fancy dress party. The ‘outgoing’ Porthcawl councillor lived up to his Facebook description when he was suspended after a photo appeared on his site. He was later reinstated.

The Family Planning Award
No surprise that the 2009 award is jointly presented to Swansea councillors Wendy Fitzgerald & Alan Robinson for their novel approach to social engineering via eugenics and for the creative denials they issued afterwards – instead of keeping their traps shut.

Crap Marksman of the Year
This prestigious accolade goes to Martin Shipton for taking numerous ineffectual pot-shots at tory leader Nick Bourne; thus confirming that the Western Mail has as much direct impact on political issues as spit on concrete.

Planning Watchdog of the Year
Awarded to party-switching Sticky Dick Lewis for demanding the demolition of a millionaire’s mansion in Gower. This came not long after his claims that he ‘missed’ the application the first time around - and despite allegations that he met up with the owner beforehand.

“Oh Bollocks” Award
The unanimous view was that this should go to Swansea Labour leader David Phillips for managing to lose three group members during 2009 and for allowing himself to get stuffed after social workers failed to confirm his claims about children being put at risk.

Fascist Twat of the Year
Despite a number of contenders, the award goes to Roger Phillips, BNP deputy organiser for West Wales who came to prominence after goods supplied by his Patriotic Products Ltd were deemed offensive by Premier League clubs. Phillips is currently under investigation for allegedly making threats to kill anti-fascist campaigner Mark Watson.

Property speculator of the Year
Judges felt the clear winner was tory AM Alun Cairns, who was reported to have lobbied fellow members so he could carry on claiming for a second home just miles from his constituency and then approached an estate agent about renting it out when the rules changed.

Comedian of the Year
Whoever wrote the claim recently regurgitated by some council cabinet non-entity that "Swansea clearly remains the regional retail centre of south-west Wales". (Judges have not been able to identify the arsehole in question but will ensure that he gets what's coming to him).

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and finally, the

Peter Black Award

Goes to ............ Peter Black - who else?